content...even at 3 AM

Aiven will be 4 months old on Sunday - I can't believe it!  I've loved every most of the past four months.  It does mean that it's been 4 months (well longer since I had to get up to pee every few hours while I was pregnant) since I've have a full 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep.  Of course it's gotten better as the weeks passed.  

When he was first born I was only sleeping maybe 2 hours at a time.  As rough as that sounds, I wasn't as tired as I should have been because I knew he needed it.  And also for the first month at least I wouldn't let him sleep longer than 4 or 5 hours (which didn't really happen anyways) because of breastfeeding and wanting to keep a good milk supply.  But after that first month or so he started sleeping a little longer and then eventually he only would wake up twice a night and then down to once a night.  

So really, from what I hear from other mom's, I've had it pretty good.  And in the past few weeks about once a week he'll sleep the whole night, about 7-8 1/2 hours.  When this happens I get this little glimmer of hope and pray hard that it continues every night from then on...which it still has yet to do.  This it was makes it hard.  I get a full night's sleep, now knowing that he is capable of sleeping the whole night, only to get woken up the following night at 3 am.  This has been frustrating to me.  I've been praying, and have other people praying as well, that he starts to sleep all night every night.  

However, I have been thinking about this and have realized that I need to be praying about my heart and the way I react & feel when he cries to be fed in the middle of the night.  I need to be joyful and content as I hear that cry of hunger, even if it's woken me up at 3 in the morning.  I've realized that I need to cherish this time because he won't need me like this forever.  I need to enjoy the time alone with my baby, giving him what he needs.  So I pray tonight I awake with a joyful heart as I stumble to the crib to comfort my baby....

"...for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances." Philippians 4:11